Nine ways to cheat your education.

I wrote this when I was, like, 15. Tagged as Lists, Life Skills.

Tired of studying? Want to cruise through life, exploiting the hard work of those before you? You'll have to be mighty good at cheating. The following are a few theoretically sound ways to cheat in an exam.
  1. Scribble tiny notes on your contact lenses. Worse things(external) can be done!
  2. Steal a friend’s notes and look at them in the toilet. Saves you from writing up the notes, and isn’t too suspect if you only go once during the test, preferably halfway through.
  3. Put notes in your pen. Write small notes and push them into a clear plastic pen. If you have a pen with a piece of paper that scrolls every time you retract the tip, exchange the message with notes or formulae. Be sure to leave a space blank.
  4. Write on a calculator. Not many would suspect there would be writing on a calculator case. A pencil on dark grey plastic is best. The writing will show when you angle it towards the light.
  5. Stare at your notes outside and write them down as soon as you start. This isn’t really a cheat, but it’s something my Electronics teacher told me to do for Resistor values and colors.
  6. Learn Braille so you can stick a piece of raised paper to the underside of your table. Just make sure you don't hit any gum while you’re feeling around for the letters.
  7. Write notes on your socks, or on your ankles. No teacher would search your socks unless you were caught peering at them mid-test.
  8. Scratch notes onto the sole of your shoe. You’d need a sharp knife. Maybe you could stain the scratches with ink or something to make them stand out more.
  9. Buy a set of cordless bud earphones (the kind with no stem -- just the small speaker bits) and stick one behind your ear. You’d need an MP3 player and a recording of you reciting notes, dates or formulae. You wouldn't be able to fast forward or anything while in the test, so write every new item down as it comes up, or go to the toilet and search the track.
  10. My friend from Fiji was also telling me about one of his female classmates who wrote notes on her inner thigh so that the teachers would never be able to check her.