Six security label pranks.

I wrote this when I was, like, 15. Tagged as Lists.

I’m sure we’ve all seen a security label before. They bear a matrix of metallic tracks on a square piece of paper and emit a radio signal to stop people from shoplifting. These labels are usually stuck onto a product very securely, but I managed to get one as-is through alleys too seedy to elaborate on.

I got to thinking, what mischief can I get up to with this? Of course I would never do any of the terrible things I’m planning for this little security label—that’s the kind of guy I am—but I can at least come up with a few.

(Oh, note that the security labels from things you’ve bought will not do anything to security sensors, since they are deactivated upon purchase.)

How about…

  1. Stick the label onto a security gate and wait until the alarm drives the store clerks mad.
  2. Attach the label to a single grape and attempt to pay for it.
  3. Collect several labels and stick them onto a paper hat which will be worn on every outing to the mall.
  4. Attach it to the back of a person who is quite obviously shoplifting.
  5. Meet archnemesis and co. inside their favorite store. As you exchange empty threats, slip the label into one of their bags and wait for them to try and exit.
  6. Collect several label and try to flick or catapult them into a Target or K-Mart without alerting the bag checkers to your presence.