Overcome Your Programming And Be A Better Man

Chris Gethard

Created on Thursday, May 29, 2014.
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Comedian Chris Gethard on being an angry high school outcast, and how he found a place in a world that ‘doesn’t owe you anything’.



If you’re a young person and you feel like the world can be cruel, and you feel like there’s no place for you in it, and you feel like people make you feel excluded and awful and alone, I want you to know that sometimes you are right and that all of those feelings are okay. Get angry if you have to, get sad when you need to, and know that it’s okay to feel all those feelings.

But remember a couple simple things:

  1. The world doesn’t owe you anything.
  2. You can’t change the world, but you can change yourself. And by changing yourself, you can change your world.


There is no situation in the world where if a girl doesn’t like you, you are allowed to say, “That dumb bitch doesn’t get it.” Nope. You don’t get it. No one. Owes you. Anything.

It’s the same thing as when a comedian blames the audience. When a joke of his bombs and he says into the mic, “That joke always works, you guys fucking suck.” Nope. They don’t suck. You suck. I don’t care if that joke was funny every other time you said it. If they didn’t laugh tonight, you weren’t funny. Tonight, you suck. You and that joke might be funny again tomorrow. But tonight? Nope. You failed. That’s not on them, that’s on you.


Everyone struggles. Everyone worries. Everyone has problems, and anxieties, and days where things seem scary and awful and difficult. Everyone feels disconnected and alone sometimes. It is in that disconnection and loneliness that we are always connected and never alone.

That's all there is, there isn't any more.
© Desi Quintans, 2002 – 2022.